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Slacking already...

Good Friday worship set up.
I fully expected to slack off on blogging last week with it being Holy Week. I spent the better part of the week trying to figure out how to broadcast a meaningful Good Friday worship experience from my home. I went live from my dining room with a makeshift tabletop pulpit. I managed to dig up enough candles for a Tenebrae service. The "pulpit" is a Target box (still full of the junk food that would go in the kids' Easter baskets) wrapped in my Harry Potter Hufflepuff robe, and the black runner is actually two chiffon wraps (navy under black) from 20 years old bridesmaids dresses. The drape on the cross is a headband that I actually swiped out of my hamper--I honestly think the dust and dirt on it made a theological statement--crucifixion is a nasty, dirty business, right? So despite the fact that I frantically pulled all of the components together out of my closet and various storage areas of the house--I was pleased with how my makeshift pulpit and altar turned out.

The service was another story. Despite my numerous warnings to my family that I would Zooming Good Friday worship live from our dining room at 7pm, Chase--whose cooking repertoire doesn't normally range beyond Easy Mac and Ramen--decided he needed a BLT at 6:45pm. This involved the oven, the microwave, the toaster, and me reminding him that I brought him into this world and could certainly take him out--in five minutes before worship started at 7pm, of course. Y'all, I did not know it was possible for one human to make so much noise in a kitchen. During the kitchen chaos Jamie took the dogs into the basement, ostensibly so they wouldn't make noise (I think he was really hiding from the kitchen chaos). Of course the minute they got downstairs, Apollo went bananas barking to try to get Sherman to play. He was directly beneath me barking with all the enthusiasm a year old Doodle can muster. I have no idea if the barking made the broadcast to my folks or not, but it certainly distracted me. Despite the lovely setup pictured, I learned that Zooming worship from my house works best in my tiny, but quiet cloffice. Which is where I conducted Easter worship, complete with virtual communion. I am getting better at Zoom every week, but wish we'd spent a week on virtual worship in seminary! While managing the PowerPoint, admitting folks into the Zoom (late), and trying to mute those who unmute themselves is a lot to juggle while also leading worship without any liturgists assisting.
Zoom screenshot of virtual Communion on Easter Sunday.

What I didn't expect after Holy Week was to be waylaid by costochondritis as a result of my excessive coughing for the last month. Thanks, asthma! So I've spent the last two days all taped up, icing my ribs, and trying to rest in order to reduce the inflammation. Meanwhile, I have a whole new appreciation for Paul's thorn in his side metaphor.

All of that to say, I don't have anything particularly deep or worthwhile to share right now. But maybe the fact that I don't have any happy unicorns farting rainbows or deep, abiding wisdom on how to cope with this right now is exactly what you need to hear. There is no right answer for any of us--we may all be physically apart, but we're all in this hot mess together. I so often encounter people who seem to think my ordination somehow stripped me of my humanity: my opinions (when my opinion differs from theirs), my problems, my stress--NEWFLASH: clergy got all the same stresses as the rest of you. If I've learned anything over the last 44 years, it is that none of us have it together and we're all faking it. Pastor Mom isn't exempt from that, apparently I'm just better at faking it than a lot of people. Like so many of you, I feel my anxiety heightening the longer we're all stuck in this new normal of social distancing. I cope how I've always coped, I clean and organize because the condition of my surroundings is the one thing I can control, right? My pantry and my master bath are organizational dreams right now, y'all. But it isn't going to last, because I live with three other humans and two large, furry dogs who are also trapped with me 24/7 and they are all messy. Life is messy--and try as I might, I cannot clean and organize my way out of this pandemic and the havoc it has wreaked on my life. But that doesn't mean I won't keep trying....

Drop me some comments and let me know how you're coping!

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